Many of us spend more time at work that we do at home; working 12 to 14 hours a day or night along side coworkers. Is it any wonder we become emotionally entangled? It is only natural to develop emotional bonds with people with who we share so much time, energy and emotion. I warn you to be careful with your emotions at work. Allowing your feelings for a coworker to cloud your better judgment could lead to serious consequences at work and at home.  

What happens if the relationship is between a supervisor and an employee? Two coworkers involved in a romantic relationship, where one is in a supervisory role over the other, is concerning for everyone involved. No matter how “fair” everyone tries to be, there will always be feelings of undo-influence or favoritism. When the relationship is going well things may be wonderful, but if the relationship goes south--it could upset the entire department. I saw this happen first-hand.

I worked in a hospital where two coworkers (I’ll call them Betty and Mike) became involved romantically,  and eventually married. The couple was well-liked and respected by members of the nursing staff; their courtship was “encouraged” by coworkers, and their marriage admired by friends and coworkers. As the years passed, Mike was promoted to charge nurse, and Betty continued to work as a staff nurse. They both worked full-time, on the 3 West Medical wing, and were scheduled together frequently.  As the charge nurse, Mike was responsible for making out assignments for the oncoming shift. As you know, an assignment can literally “make or break” your day.  Betty was not in the best of health, so Mike made sure her assignments weren’t too heavy. Staff recognized the obvious favoritism, but the culture was engrained, and Betty so loved, no one ever complained.

As years went by the relationship between Betty and Mike became more strained. Betty was aging faster then Mike, her health limited their activities at home, they grew apart and Mike became disinterested. A young nurse named Megan began working as a staff nurse on 3 West Medical. A romantic relationship developed between Mike and Megan. The relationship became serious and Mike asked Betty for a divorce. Feeling betrayed and lonely, Betty began complaining to coworkers about she and Mike’s private life, spreading gossip about Megan and encouraging her coworkers to ignore Megan if she asked for help. Betty left the hospital crying, unable to work on several occasions, gaining sympathy for her unfortunate circumstances, and resentment towards Megan.   The working atmosphere for Megan became unbearable; she was unable to find nurses to help her turn or mobilize her patients and many staff members refused to relieve her for breaks. Eventually Megan asked to be transferred to another unit. Members of the team no longer worked together in harmony; and the tension between Betty and Megan was palpable. At one point it seemed everyone in the hospital had taken one side or the other-literally splitting the unit and the hospital staff into two warring camps. Interestingly, little blame was directed toward Mike in this matter. Most staff either blamed the “evil young woman” for turning poor Mike’s head-(I  guess his wandering was beyond his control) or Betty who “let herself go” and wasn’t able to hold on to her man. Funny how that works!

In my mind the organization was at fault; they failed to control their charge nurse’s actions, and failed to remove him from the charge nurse position.  First off, he should never have been able to be his wife’s charge nurse. Employees had every right to complain of favoritism since he consistently gave Betty lighter assignments. Then, developing a relationship with a young staff nurse, when he was working as a charge nurse is sexual harassment. The organization could very well have faced sexual harassment charges if this young nurse had complained that his power over her forced her into a romantic relationship. The relationship then caused her to be the victim of harassment by others on the team, placing her and her patients’ safety and welfare at risk and forcing her change jobs.  What do you think about this?